Tim is on TV, gives up drinking and advertises for an orchestra

Hello Children,

The other day I was on the television. I knew that I would be on television around this time but silly me forgot the date that it would be aired. It's only S4C but basically it's me looking slightly dazed after being pulled from the street to don a fez and tell a Tommy Cooper joke to the camera. This sounds easy but it's not. It's extremely hard to tell a joke to a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. And you wouldn't know because I know for a fact that you haven't told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Unless you're Eddie, in which case you have told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Because you were with me and you failed at it, miserably. Because my foolish babbling was a hit and I managed to get included in the final cut. Three times. Which makes me approximately 136.6 times better than you will ever be in front of a camera. And again if this is Eddie I'm sorry for throwing up half my body weight on your carpet, I think that was unpleasant for everyone.
And here's our irony section: Me and Rob/Eddie were actually trying to film the Tommy Cooper statue for a Welsh Bacc film on Caerphilly but these 'professionals' beat us too it with their programme 'Bro' on Caerphilly. And we ended up being filmed ourselves. Haha. What? Is that not ironic enough for you?
Ech

So I was thinking about music as lots of people are at the moment. I like to write songs but most of them only actually become a few chords and some lyrics scribbled down somewhere, plus all of what's in my head, which is the best part. But in order to get it out of my head I need certain things, I already have a guitar and a bass and a keyboard and a mandolin and a harmonica but I don't have a string section and a synthesizer and a sampler and a drum machine and a horn section and a choir and and a steel drum. Especially a steel drum. These are the things I really need, because I'm like that with music, I'm fussy see. It's hard to advertise for it as well because the new songs I think of all need new components. I'll have to end up getting one of those lame composing software things, which cost money and no I'm not gonna steal it from a torrent site like most of you youths do.

What am I listening to right now?
Aphex Twin, Miles Davis and the ingenious New Jersey based radio station WFMU, which has a confusing argument between the DJ and a guy pretending to be a juggalo.

I'm sorry, bring me the urban dictionary.

juggalo

What am I reading right now?
World War Z by Max Brooks
and Wuthering Heights, because I have to.

What am I watching right now?
True Blood, a vampire show that's apparently big in America . I'm giving it a shot and I'm intrigued so far and impressed by the lack of vampire cliches.
Blogger doesn't have accents which tells me not to be a stuck up pretentious twat.

Outnumbered and that's about it. I'm not watching too much telly.

And when I say right now. You know, I don't mean right now.
Yeah.

Stay frosty.
x

I think that I exist but I can't be too sure

There doesn't seem to be much evidence to support it.

A Blog Worth Your Time

I've been trying to write a short story but I only seem to come up with about a sentence every two weeks. The draft I'm doing now is 1, 750 words long so going by that rate I figure I must have been writing it for quite a while now. I've been trying to make almost every minor detail in the story relevant to the theme or with some kind of double meaning. I haven't actually been focusing all too hard on the narrative or characters at all, just trying to make tiny metaphors that nobody will ever get, I'm not sure the result would be any good, but maybe some hardcore literary buffs would appreciate some of the things I've done. I don't know.
The story's about a girl recovering from a hangover trying to figure out what terrible thing she did last night.
(Thought it up long before the film The Hangover and that episode of Peep Show for your information)
The tense and narrative stance alternates from first person present to third person past during flashbacks of that particular night.The hangover is pretty much a metaphor for adulthood after a botched adolescence and this notion kind of combines awkwardly with a secondary theme of miscommunication. I've called it Salad Days, hoping that Shakespeare references will make me seem intelectual and that. I'll probably post it when I'm done.

Anyone go to Big Cheese today?
I'm not too fussed on going this weekend, and can whoever's choosing to go there tommorow night instead of Eddie's party change their mind please? You'll only miss some plastic sword fights, overpriced burgers and a few pissed up, aging musicians. And you can see the cruddy fireworks from the yard.

Stay fantastic
x

50 random questions you say?

1 What is the capitol of Argentina?
2 Do my feet smell?
3 Holy Jesus is that a bear!?
4 Cracked pepper?
5 Are you kidding me?
6 Do you read the Bible, son?
7 Anybody there?
8 Heads or tails? Call it. If I call it it wouldn't be fair.
9 What's the score?
10 Are you available tonight?
K I've replaced a number with a letter, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
12 How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? (Answer: False)
13 Are you on Facebook?
16 Big Issue?
17 Does my tackle look big in this?
18 Just who the Holy Moses do you think you are?
19 How's is going?
20 Huhh?
21 What colour Power Ranger?
22 DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?
23 ?
24 Twenty-four already?
25 Can you feel the love tonight?
26 Cracked pepper?
27 NAL?
28 Is this going a bit far to make a point?
29 Have you been drinking, sir?
30 Are you on Twitter?
31 How's the weather like up there?
32 Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
33 Do you find these 50 question things a lazier and easier alternative to writing a meaningful and interesting to read post?
34 Where has the rum gone?
35 What is another word for thesaurus?
36 Is Stephen Wirght actually funny, or does he just say things which sound like they should be funny?
38 I've just skipped to 38, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
39 Does anybody watch The Wire?
40 Bigger shoe?
41 Are you on [socialnetworkingsiteforpeopletowastertimeonbecausetheythinkthatthey'retoo
coolforordinaryf*ckingconversation]?
42 Who will watch the watchmen?
43 Are you talking to me?
44 Too many movie quotes for one list?
45 So, did you get your list from the internet or what? Or did you make your own like me? Just interested.
46 That's an interesting story,
maybe you could include it in that novel you were working on
You know, the novel?
That novel you've been writing?
Add a little plot twist there, hmm?
A little bit of character development, hmm?
Make them seem a little less two-dimensional, hmm?
hmmm?
47 You do realise that Greenday are shit don't you?
48 What time's the next bus?
49 You didn't expect me to write answers as well did you? This took bleeding ages.
50 Just why?

You see, those are random questions.
And just as pointless.








Stay swinging
x

Riding Scooters in my Autumn Holidays

Blogger: It's like Frogger but.........not



I'm in a philosophical mood today.
When I'm in a philosophical mood I think of the following things: Who comes up with the words for the word verification images? Why do they always appear as funny words and not as random codes like everywhere else on the Internet? Is it just me who has to type it out every time I post a comment? Why must I do this? And why is Blogger called 'blogspot' on everyone's url? I like the term 'follower' because it makes me feel like a messiah. Why is my first sentence always shifted forward slightly? Why can't I space my words out? Why do these things annoy me? Why aren't I popular like the 'blogs of note' people?

All this philosophicising is hurting my head.

Anyway, stay....... something
x

please

JUST
CALM
DOWN

Lawnmower

Mowing the lawn in random zig-zag directions is one of those little pleasures I get from being left alone in the house. I imagine my mum's freaked out face at the monstrous sight 'You do it in lines! What the hell are you doing!!?'. It took me a while to start the thing as I had never used a petrol lawn mower in my life, I was a pokeitthroughthewindowandtrynottorunoverincaseyougetan-electricshockanddie cable kind of guy but the family has recently decided to take up polluting the environment and got a motor one. It turned out you poke a squidgey red ball three times, there was nothing vaguely mechanical about, it was more of a 'Now Dorothy, you clap your red boots three times and say 'There's no place like home' ignition procedure, it was strange.

Other than learning to start a petrol lawnmower there were other pleasing things I learned about life, like that baby puffins are called pufflings and that these guys exist. (Click Link)
Ah, what a great life.







Am I the only person here who watches Flight of the Conchords?
I recommended it if you're a fan of laughing.









Short one today.
Stay handsome
x

Door Frame Ghost

That's the second time I thought I saw someone walk past the room through a door frame. It's only for a split second but it does creep me out just a bit when I find out that there's nobody there.
I don't think it's a hallucination or anything just the odd trick of the mind.
Anyway, pretty spooky.

So BBC 6 Music and cider and writing things in a half-arsed way is my evening for tonight. I have things to do. I think they can leave untill the weekend.
I'm in love but with no-one in particular, just people in general, just because you're different and you manage to make me happy somehow, I respect you and I'm sorry for getting in a strop about you. You're cool.

I like going for walks, I like going for picnics, I like striking up conversations with strangers, I like jazz and I like waking up on aeroplanes, I like observing people in their cars on highways, I like it when it rains hard and I'm warm and in bed, I like pets, I like being the guy who carries a camera, I like playing sport even if I'm terrible at it, I like using unneccisarily proper language to make me seem smart, I like beef chow mein, I like coconut ice, I like quoting Nietzche and watching old films. I don't like watching sport I don't want a car and I don't want a television when I move out (I find something oddly cool in not owning a television), I don't want a fancy phone with applications I don't need, I don't want or need a tidy house, I don't like arguing over pointless things. This is just a little slice of me for those who may have wanted to know a little more about the writer of this blog.

Early night tonight.
Does anyone want me to pick something up for them in Cardiff tomorrow morning?
Stay funky.
x