I've been a coward for just about as long as I can think. I wasn't born a coward, who is born anything? I was born a baby and so were most people. I suppose not most people are still babies at my age. My mummy and daddy aren't really important in this story because it was anger that made me, anger not as an abstract but as a person. And I never really understand anger as an abstract, I got and still get angry but I try to do what my mummy says and take a deep breath and bottle it up, though I don't know why we say 'bottle it up' because that suggests I'm going to use all this anger for something but I can't honestly think what I'd ever use it for.
Anger was always angry as you'd expect and he would scream and shout and throw things and hit me sometimes. I'm not quite sure why he thought that being angry would make something better because it only make things worse, you can't really act rationally angry, if you're angry at something else then you'll be really angry at little things like cleaning the dishes or not being able to find the remote. Most people would respond to anger by being angry, even angrier at them, then the angry person would get angrier still. Now to me that's more anger than you need so I never got angry and kept doing what my mammy kept saying. So I became a coward instead. Anger doesn't like cowards but then anger doesn't like anyone, maybe that's because he's angry or he's angry because he doesn't like anyone, one of those. Anger hits me for being a coward and gets more angry so I suppose I haven't done anything on my part.
If I wasn't a coward I would be the joker. Now the joker scares me because he doesn't care about anything, he can't take things seriously he just tells jokes. And everybody else is scared of the joker. But that's what you get for not getting angry: you become a coward or you become a joker. Just for doing what your mamma told you. I can't say I understand it. But as far as I can see I will always be a coward, and maybe sometimes I will be the joker but I hope not often. It's a sad little prospect and anger would never change because like I said he hates people and he would never be able to connect with them. I don't hate people though.
and I suppose that's why I will always beat anger in a way.
Thursday 17 December 2009
Monday 14 December 2009
Pot Noodle in a Sieve
Dear God, if you've got the time here is a list of people I would like you to kill;
The prats off the gold exchange adverts
The prats off most other adverts
Nick Griffin
Louis Walsh
Danni Minogue
Michael Buble
Jordan and the prat she does all those programmes about
Silvio Berlusconi
Mark Wahlberg
Louis Walsh
Anne Robinson
Donny Osmond
The creator of Twighlight -and no I'm not going to even bother looking up his/her/the malevolent androgynous force of evil's name.
Jack Frost- as in the one who makes roads slippery not the moustachey David Jason.
Louis Walsh
Whoever changed Desperate Dan.
The American fellow who says that Santa Claus is the reason for obese kids and should be changed to be more healthy.
Right, that's over with.
Now I'm eating a Pot Noodle with a sieve because this seems like the logical approach to easting a Pot Noodle which would usually be 20% food and 80% greasy drink which means I have to fish around like a starving polar bear for slivers of mushroom to eat. and meanwhile, Wilson is zipping Pacman-esque around the house swallowing everything he happens to come across, often without chewing. And who the frak do PRS for Music think they are calling me up and telling me I can't listen to music on a CD player or radio because I haven't got a license? Where did this come from? What has the world come to?
Anyway I feel inclined to lighten up the mood of recent blogs the way things are going so I'll highlight all the good things that are happening in the world.
It's Jesus' birthday. (But don't remind him how old he is)
School is over or nearly over for this year.
We are young, we run green, keep our teeth nice and clean. (Keep our teeth nice and clean? What's that all about? Have you got nothing else better to do with your youth that to take meticulous care of your dental hygeine?) and yes as Supergrass said, we're alright.
P.S Don't take my list as some serious fascist statement. It's just a wee joke.
The prats off the gold exchange adverts
The prats off most other adverts
Nick Griffin
Louis Walsh
Danni Minogue
Michael Buble
Jordan and the prat she does all those programmes about
Silvio Berlusconi
Mark Wahlberg
Louis Walsh
Anne Robinson
Donny Osmond
The creator of Twighlight -and no I'm not going to even bother looking up his/her/the malevolent androgynous force of evil's name.
Jack Frost- as in the one who makes roads slippery not the moustachey David Jason.
Louis Walsh
Whoever changed Desperate Dan.
The American fellow who says that Santa Claus is the reason for obese kids and should be changed to be more healthy.
Right, that's over with.
Now I'm eating a Pot Noodle with a sieve because this seems like the logical approach to easting a Pot Noodle which would usually be 20% food and 80% greasy drink which means I have to fish around like a starving polar bear for slivers of mushroom to eat. and meanwhile, Wilson is zipping Pacman-esque around the house swallowing everything he happens to come across, often without chewing. And who the frak do PRS for Music think they are calling me up and telling me I can't listen to music on a CD player or radio because I haven't got a license? Where did this come from? What has the world come to?
Anyway I feel inclined to lighten up the mood of recent blogs the way things are going so I'll highlight all the good things that are happening in the world.
It's Jesus' birthday. (But don't remind him how old he is)
School is over or nearly over for this year.
We are young, we run green, keep our teeth nice and clean. (Keep our teeth nice and clean? What's that all about? Have you got nothing else better to do with your youth that to take meticulous care of your dental hygeine?) and yes as Supergrass said, we're alright.
P.S Don't take my list as some serious fascist statement. It's just a wee joke.
Sunday 13 December 2009
Paradise Misplaced
So Adam said to God:
Listen, I'm sorry mate. We didn't expect things to get so out of hand. We never even seen all this evil before. Eden so perfect and everything. I mean when you made New Zealand you never made any predators, so I could lead a kiwi straight in to a den of tigers and they would realise what would happen to them and the kiwi would get eaten cause it's fat and blind and it can't fly. It's kind of like that. Do you know what I mean? Of course you do. Now I realise all the things like hunger and pain and tiredness and boredom and, well, it really sucks.
Obviously you knew everything that was going to happen all along, 'cause you're immense. So you knew we'd eat from that tree, isn't that why you put it there? Or did you put it there? Anyway, that tree was always there, so things weren't always perfect were they? Wow, that's pretty, like, cosmic to think about.
Anyway, what I don't get is, why do our kids have to suffer for this? I mean it's just a point but me and Eve are a bit, like, miffed about that bit, no offense. Cain has been a bit off lately and Abel's working his socks off. If we're expecting an expansion of the human race here -which by the way is something I really need to talk to you about later- then, well, you know, there's only so much guilt I can take. There gonna have to pay for TV licenses and queue at the post office and clean up dog shit all because of this. I mean, I think I got the point.
You know, if people are going to believe in you. Not that I doubt your believability or anything, you're completely believable. I mean, as invisible omniscient forces go, you're definitely one of the most believable. But, this whole original sin/unjust world thing is a bit of damper, let's be honest. And for some reason people are going to point out that there's bad in the world as if all the religious folk didn't know that already and some thickos are going to say 'hey, he's right' and there'll be mass conversion to atheism. For some reason I think this will happen. I also get a feeling that people might get all woried about the fact that suffering exists and start making up there own theories. Like 'why was the tree there in the first place?' and a lot of people are gonna forget the point that suffering exists no matter what people try to do about it.
At the end of the day, I admit we really screwed up here and we're sorry about that, just.... don't get in a knot about it alright?
Anyway, like I said, just a point.
Keep me posted.
See ya.
Listen, I'm sorry mate. We didn't expect things to get so out of hand. We never even seen all this evil before. Eden so perfect and everything. I mean when you made New Zealand you never made any predators, so I could lead a kiwi straight in to a den of tigers and they would realise what would happen to them and the kiwi would get eaten cause it's fat and blind and it can't fly. It's kind of like that. Do you know what I mean? Of course you do. Now I realise all the things like hunger and pain and tiredness and boredom and, well, it really sucks.
Obviously you knew everything that was going to happen all along, 'cause you're immense. So you knew we'd eat from that tree, isn't that why you put it there? Or did you put it there? Anyway, that tree was always there, so things weren't always perfect were they? Wow, that's pretty, like, cosmic to think about.
Anyway, what I don't get is, why do our kids have to suffer for this? I mean it's just a point but me and Eve are a bit, like, miffed about that bit, no offense. Cain has been a bit off lately and Abel's working his socks off. If we're expecting an expansion of the human race here -which by the way is something I really need to talk to you about later- then, well, you know, there's only so much guilt I can take. There gonna have to pay for TV licenses and queue at the post office and clean up dog shit all because of this. I mean, I think I got the point.
You know, if people are going to believe in you. Not that I doubt your believability or anything, you're completely believable. I mean, as invisible omniscient forces go, you're definitely one of the most believable. But, this whole original sin/unjust world thing is a bit of damper, let's be honest. And for some reason people are going to point out that there's bad in the world as if all the religious folk didn't know that already and some thickos are going to say 'hey, he's right' and there'll be mass conversion to atheism. For some reason I think this will happen. I also get a feeling that people might get all woried about the fact that suffering exists and start making up there own theories. Like 'why was the tree there in the first place?' and a lot of people are gonna forget the point that suffering exists no matter what people try to do about it.
At the end of the day, I admit we really screwed up here and we're sorry about that, just.... don't get in a knot about it alright?
Anyway, like I said, just a point.
Keep me posted.
See ya.
Friday 11 December 2009
Dear University of Glamorgan, Piss Off
"XX replied to a thread on Facebook"
fuck off
Seriously, go away, I've had enough of it. I haven't had a seriously worthwhile e-mail in months, like University of Glamorgan that keeps emailing and sending letters like an obsessive stalker fan telling me to apply, and saying 'do not reply' but I did with the simple two words 'piss off' and they sent me a letter back saying 'thanks for your enquiry, there are plenty of ways of managing student finace, if you visit our website you can see our awards....' what's that all about? And people who take pictures of their crunched up bellies that momentarily resemble six-packs and set it as their msn picture, fuck off. And people who keep whining about their university applications and driving tests and individual investigations and essays, I really don't want to hear about it. And people who show off about knowing all of Hotel California on the electric guitar their mum bought them, not interested. And people who do nothing but stay at home criticising people's spelling and blogging about other people's annoying personal habits you can, well, never mind.
Anyway, I was looking in the Twister cupboard. (The door in my room that leads to a secret cavern like area where no one goes unless for Twister related party emergencies.) And found among many things, about a ton of LEGO, a Simon and Garfunkel CD, and an old book that published all poems written by kids in primary schools, back forever ago. Mine's in there and it's a one about a lion and it was immense except they made a grammar error that wasn't originally mine. But I don't know what I've done with the book now so I can't read it out to you which has totally ruined my fucking anectode and I don't know why I'm swearing quite so much it must me the media cause they're only responsible for every other fucking thing. Anyway that had something to do with poems which is what Xanthe blogged about to get you lazy louts writing again. The truth is I'm not a big fan of poems and in my childhood I mostly read Roal Dahl over limericks, later I read a bit of John Cooper Clarke and some T.S Elliot but nothing really interesting to put here. Blogs would really be better if people didn't force you to do one and it just came naturally I think.
'The meek shall inherit the earth which is just as well because if he didn't he wouldn't really mind.'
Right, Twister, Roal Dahl, Lego... where a I going with this? Oh, yes, nowhere. I never really am I guess. Do you think identity is fixed or chosen? I spend time reading and writing songs, I like playing sports but don't play in a team because people take that stuff too seriously. I would like to have a better hobby, I don't know what, surfing, diving, BMXing, parcoring, juggling, fire-eating, it could be anything really. I'm going skiing in Austria instead of having any expensive Christmas presents and I only really started skiing because my family did and although I enjoy it, it's a bit fake. I quit religion but I'm not sure if anyone's noticed, this was just a way to be different if anything. I don't know, I'm getting tied up about whether people are really genuine or not, do I know what I'm saying? Probably not. People steal things a lot nowadays because it's so easy and socially acceptable now. I try not to, maybe I'd try to justify it by saying it's something over 40 years old and older folks criticises us kids for not being aware of such things. When I download something it never seems to work anyway, even when it's all the best software or whatever and this just makes me feel cheap and dirty, I hate computers. I'm not downloading anything now and I'm free of viruses and nasty stuff and there's plenty of space but everything is still horribly slow. And a lot of the time the computer just does things I don't understand and I don't think they could be understand, I don't need to tell you about that. I think it's time I stop rambling.
Stay fierce.
x
fuck off
Seriously, go away, I've had enough of it. I haven't had a seriously worthwhile e-mail in months, like University of Glamorgan that keeps emailing and sending letters like an obsessive stalker fan telling me to apply, and saying 'do not reply' but I did with the simple two words 'piss off' and they sent me a letter back saying 'thanks for your enquiry, there are plenty of ways of managing student finace, if you visit our website you can see our awards....' what's that all about? And people who take pictures of their crunched up bellies that momentarily resemble six-packs and set it as their msn picture, fuck off. And people who keep whining about their university applications and driving tests and individual investigations and essays, I really don't want to hear about it. And people who show off about knowing all of Hotel California on the electric guitar their mum bought them, not interested. And people who do nothing but stay at home criticising people's spelling and blogging about other people's annoying personal habits you can, well, never mind.
Anyway, I was looking in the Twister cupboard. (The door in my room that leads to a secret cavern like area where no one goes unless for Twister related party emergencies.) And found among many things, about a ton of LEGO, a Simon and Garfunkel CD, and an old book that published all poems written by kids in primary schools, back forever ago. Mine's in there and it's a one about a lion and it was immense except they made a grammar error that wasn't originally mine. But I don't know what I've done with the book now so I can't read it out to you which has totally ruined my fucking anectode and I don't know why I'm swearing quite so much it must me the media cause they're only responsible for every other fucking thing. Anyway that had something to do with poems which is what Xanthe blogged about to get you lazy louts writing again. The truth is I'm not a big fan of poems and in my childhood I mostly read Roal Dahl over limericks, later I read a bit of John Cooper Clarke and some T.S Elliot but nothing really interesting to put here. Blogs would really be better if people didn't force you to do one and it just came naturally I think.
'The meek shall inherit the earth which is just as well because if he didn't he wouldn't really mind.'
Right, Twister, Roal Dahl, Lego... where a I going with this? Oh, yes, nowhere. I never really am I guess. Do you think identity is fixed or chosen? I spend time reading and writing songs, I like playing sports but don't play in a team because people take that stuff too seriously. I would like to have a better hobby, I don't know what, surfing, diving, BMXing, parcoring, juggling, fire-eating, it could be anything really. I'm going skiing in Austria instead of having any expensive Christmas presents and I only really started skiing because my family did and although I enjoy it, it's a bit fake. I quit religion but I'm not sure if anyone's noticed, this was just a way to be different if anything. I don't know, I'm getting tied up about whether people are really genuine or not, do I know what I'm saying? Probably not. People steal things a lot nowadays because it's so easy and socially acceptable now. I try not to, maybe I'd try to justify it by saying it's something over 40 years old and older folks criticises us kids for not being aware of such things. When I download something it never seems to work anyway, even when it's all the best software or whatever and this just makes me feel cheap and dirty, I hate computers. I'm not downloading anything now and I'm free of viruses and nasty stuff and there's plenty of space but everything is still horribly slow. And a lot of the time the computer just does things I don't understand and I don't think they could be understand, I don't need to tell you about that. I think it's time I stop rambling.
Stay fierce.
x
A Disastrous Common Room Blog
I haven't got anything to blog about.
So you know this blog is going to be good.
Here are some things you don't know about me:
So you know this blog is going to be good.
Here are some things you don't know about me:
- I have two penises and a vagina
- I am one hundred and twenty six years old.
- I shit roughly two dozen times a day.
- My nose is a result of a rare skin disease
- I am a black man
- I can summon meerkats to fight for me when the need arises.
- When I get drunk I foam purple at the mouth
- I invented Connect 4. Originally Connect 19.
- I'm a typrewriter and I hate technology
- The back of my head is a door to Narnia
- Your mum
- Your mum
- I once fell off the planet, I'm ok now though.
- There is a small man in my head called Simon who controls my thoughts.
See You Space Cowboys....
Monday 7 December 2009
A Christmas Post (With Rhyming)
A timid sentence on the tip of my tongue,
If I word it too soon I'll be jumping the gun
Yet if I state it to late it then it may not relate,
So I'll post it in a little blog, and let what's done be done.
Yes today, my torrenting, commenting friends,
I'll be speaking in rhyme and I'll hope you'll attend
To this wonderfully lyrical, satirical ball
Where I express my opinion on life, the world and all.
Yes the rhyming scheme's irregular and the meters rarely fit.
But it beats some proseless, senseless script, so I shout -"to hell with it!"
Not literally though, I'll have you know, because that would be strange.
So anyhow, I'll answer now, to the question on your lips,
Why is it that I converse in verse? Have I finally lost my grip?
Is this fanciful post a literary boast? In short: well.... yeah I guess.
But trust me there's more, and so I'll show you the score -if you don't mind reading the next bit.
For many a week, my blog has been bare- as I'm sure you might know,
And as apology posts are thin and spare I thought I'd give it go
A little something to show I care, plus, I'm sure you find this too,
No matter what curses, complaints or taboos, the limerick can't fail to look cute.
Now that I've just got in to the sway,
I'm afraid I have nothing to say.
A cheesy festive sign-off line is on call,
So Merry Christmas you slags, one and all.
x
If I word it too soon I'll be jumping the gun
Yet if I state it to late it then it may not relate,
So I'll post it in a little blog, and let what's done be done.
Yes today, my torrenting, commenting friends,
I'll be speaking in rhyme and I'll hope you'll attend
To this wonderfully lyrical, satirical ball
Where I express my opinion on life, the world and all.
Yes the rhyming scheme's irregular and the meters rarely fit.
But it beats some proseless, senseless script, so I shout -"to hell with it!"
Not literally though, I'll have you know, because that would be strange.
So anyhow, I'll answer now, to the question on your lips,
Why is it that I converse in verse? Have I finally lost my grip?
Is this fanciful post a literary boast? In short: well.... yeah I guess.
But trust me there's more, and so I'll show you the score -if you don't mind reading the next bit.
For many a week, my blog has been bare- as I'm sure you might know,
And as apology posts are thin and spare I thought I'd give it go
A little something to show I care, plus, I'm sure you find this too,
No matter what curses, complaints or taboos, the limerick can't fail to look cute.
Now that I've just got in to the sway,
I'm afraid I have nothing to say.
A cheesy festive sign-off line is on call,
So Merry Christmas you slags, one and all.
x
Friday 27 November 2009
Oh are we doing it like this?
OK XANTHE
I accept your challenge, your plan seems to be working -at least temporarily.
All NEWish artists here and I'll be dissapointed if you've heard of any of them.
1 As I mentioned before, Yeasayer. They do these brilliant psychadelic, world music inspired dance-rock tunes. Check them out.
2 Raphael Saadiq. Having suddenly become a huge Motown fan. I think this guy is a legend. Saw him on Later With Jools Holland, like most of the new music I discover*.
(If it's not on one of The Guardian blogs. As it happens when you start to become an adult, think you're middle class and support anything vaguely resembling what you almost understand as 'left wing' I've started reading The Guardian website)
*WARNING Parenthesis ahead.
3 Speaking of Motown and Jools Holland: Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears are also just as amazing.
4 The Phantom Band. I took up at least an hour of my time trying to retrace the steps of my last week that lead me to finding out this band so I could remember their name, so you can do me a favour by listening to them. It's kind of sampley, krautrock inspired dreamy, dark folk rock. From Glasgow like a lot of good new bands nowadays.
5 Not technically a new band but getting increasingly less obscure. I was actually told about them forever ago but only recently took an active interest in them: Animal Collective. Hard to describe their sound; summery, experimental shoutiness doesn't quite capture it really. They're from Brooklyn NY again like a lot of new artists (Yeasayer, Bat for Lashes....).
Notable not-so-recent artists you probably don't know (but tell me if you do): Tom Waits, Wilson Pickett, Blonde Redhead, Aphex Twin, Sonic Youth, Commadores, Dick Dale, Jamie T, The Meters, Paul Simon, Ennio Morricone, Bernard Herrman, TV on the Radio.... I'm too tired to go on.
Stay in touch
x
I accept your challenge, your plan seems to be working -at least temporarily.
All NEWish artists here and I'll be dissapointed if you've heard of any of them.
1 As I mentioned before, Yeasayer. They do these brilliant psychadelic, world music inspired dance-rock tunes. Check them out.
2 Raphael Saadiq. Having suddenly become a huge Motown fan. I think this guy is a legend. Saw him on Later With Jools Holland, like most of the new music I discover*.
(If it's not on one of The Guardian blogs. As it happens when you start to become an adult, think you're middle class and support anything vaguely resembling what you almost understand as 'left wing' I've started reading The Guardian website)
*WARNING Parenthesis ahead.
3 Speaking of Motown and Jools Holland: Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears are also just as amazing.
4 The Phantom Band. I took up at least an hour of my time trying to retrace the steps of my last week that lead me to finding out this band so I could remember their name, so you can do me a favour by listening to them. It's kind of sampley, krautrock inspired dreamy, dark folk rock. From Glasgow like a lot of good new bands nowadays.
5 Not technically a new band but getting increasingly less obscure. I was actually told about them forever ago but only recently took an active interest in them: Animal Collective. Hard to describe their sound; summery, experimental shoutiness doesn't quite capture it really. They're from Brooklyn NY again like a lot of new artists (Yeasayer, Bat for Lashes....).
Notable not-so-recent artists you probably don't know (but tell me if you do): Tom Waits, Wilson Pickett, Blonde Redhead, Aphex Twin, Sonic Youth, Commadores, Dick Dale, Jamie T, The Meters, Paul Simon, Ennio Morricone, Bernard Herrman, TV on the Radio.... I'm too tired to go on.
Stay in touch
x
Monday 9 November 2009
Empire/New York State of Mind
'I'm comfortable with strangers, but it's the people I know I have problems with.'
People do worry a lot don't they? This annoys me. I don't really have much to worry about most of the time, sometime I do have things to worry about but I usually respond by not worrying about them. Relax, this is not deep. What reason have I got to write a 'deep' blog? I'm just saying. That could have been the title to this blog actually 'I'm just saying' but I can't go ahead and change it now can I?
Also, just in case you think I've forgotten, I went to New York. New York was amazing.
Woo!
The Apprentice USA: idiots acting like idiots for an audience of idiots.
AND THEY'RE AMERICAN
and they're all very attractive for some reason. It must be important in the US.
and Donald Trump SHOUTS
A LOT!
it's the best thing on telly.
probably.
Have you ever seen Blade Runner?
If you haven't don't worry, but this would be a little bit less interesting.
Well this supporting character called Gaff played by Edward James Olmos (Admiral Adama from Battlestar Galactica BS fans, the father of Lee Adama who is funny because his name is a kind of cheese) anyway he's probably the coolest person in fiction. His job in the film is to arrive and talk a load of jibberish called Cityspeak to Harrison Ford, be generally enigmatic, and leave cool bits of origami around when he leaves. He's mastered a pretty nifty style including a wastecoat, bowtie, leather jacket and fedora.
And I want to be this guy for my party.
I'll need help with the leather jacket and possibly the waistcoat. Help if you can. I have been very unenthusiastic about this party even though I organised it and didn't bother getting anything in New York. Now I feel guilty and am trying to put together a costume from borrowed bits and pieces.
Back to worrying, cause I do try every now and then to maintain a 'theme' believe it or not, in these blogs. A perfect car and a perfect job and a perfect girlfriend to become my perfect wife to move in to my perfect house and produce perfect children seems like such a dreary myth to pursue. I just want to be able to have an exciting life, one I could write a book about that would become a bestseller. I'll take a fast train to hell and have my corpse become food to a million maggots and worms, a withered pocket drained of cash and only a mother to cry for me just for a story to harvest a sliver of emotion from some enlightened biography buff. That's what I want right there.
Hope I haven't taken up too much of your time....
Monday 26 October 2009
More Brainvomit
A couple of food-based discoveries today.
Cherry bakewells seem much nicer when you take off the pastry around the edges, a bit like when you eat a Twix top down.
It seems that the rougher the neighbourhood, the better the chips they sell. Even if the person at the counter can't count for shit and takes 30 minutes to cook a saveloy.
Not a great idea to go into your old church once you've completely abandoned religion, especially when they don't know this and keep asking you to come to special events or to play guitar for them sometime. A lot of people seem to be who they are only because of their family. If I wasn't brought up a Christian I probably wouldn't have ever been a one. I imagine many hate me because of what I did now but at least I feel comfortable now.
more important than that, look at this origami penguin I made:
Stay chilled.
x
Cherry bakewells seem much nicer when you take off the pastry around the edges, a bit like when you eat a Twix top down.
It seems that the rougher the neighbourhood, the better the chips they sell. Even if the person at the counter can't count for shit and takes 30 minutes to cook a saveloy.
Not a great idea to go into your old church once you've completely abandoned religion, especially when they don't know this and keep asking you to come to special events or to play guitar for them sometime. A lot of people seem to be who they are only because of their family. If I wasn't brought up a Christian I probably wouldn't have ever been a one. I imagine many hate me because of what I did now but at least I feel comfortable now.
more important than that, look at this origami penguin I made:
Stay chilled.
x
Sunday 11 October 2009
Cutlery Thief
Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?
-John Clarke
Thanks to iGoogle home page for that one.
So I've walked upstairs and I can't for the life of me think why, the half-empty milk bottle is in the dishwasher and the drunk glass is in the fridge. It's not even that early in the morning and I know I'm too young to have alzheimers. I'm wiping the dust off some shitty Christmas presents and old books from years back so I can sell them in a car boot sale for New York spending money.
I'm really looking forward to New York, only three and a bit weeks left now.
There's not much to think about right now. I don't have a job because I don't need the money and I'm busy enough with school anyway. I don't drive because I don't need to drive because the bus and my legs work fine. I don't have a girlfriend because they're usually too much trouble. I'm not looking at university cause I'm no bloody rush to go to one. I don't have many interests and the ones I do have aren't very interesting anyway. Yes I'm pretty much the most uninteresting person on earth right now.
Yes I have asked about having a party round Halloween, no results as yet. Just a lot of 'oooh, I don't know' s.
Wilson has lengthened his criminal record by wandering into next door's house and stealing a wooden spoon. Well done again Wilson.
Half past six in the morning is not a good time to get lost and accidently walk halfway to town in a partially hungover state.
Oh balls, why must you text questionairres to me T-Mobile? What a rubbish ordeal that is, and I know if I don't text back random answers (I can't see the questions because of my broken screen even if I did give a shit, which I don't so I would've just texted random answers anyway) someone with the strangest accent on earth will ring me and ask the questions again in the most boring way a man with the strangest accent on Earth can and I'll tell him to just leave me alone. I don't think that last text was a question so I think I just texted '5' to 'Thank you for your participation in this survey'. Oh well.
I had to watch season 2 of True Blood online didn't I? I really wish I could've waited till it aired here but I ended up watching the first one and had to continue because it so brilliant and this series is so enticingly strange. I'll miss discussions in between episodes and reading The Guardian' s weekly blogs but I can tell you all that season 2 so far is better than the first, more blood, sex and scary and lots more wierd.What's the positive(red) image in this teaser poster, is it a guy with a funny beard spitting or something or just nothing?
hmm...
stay true
x
Saturday 3 October 2009
Strange Times
"And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
-Hunter S. Thompson
Two things are on my mind at the monent: Cobwebs and helicopters.
I can't seem to walk past a tree or lampost anymore without feeling a strange itch on my head and realising yes I've only got a bloody cobweb on me again. I really hope someone else feels the same cause I'm sure the leggy bastards are out to get me.
And why is it that there are helicopters outside my house that seem to be flying lower and lower. I'm seriously starting to consider moving my bedroom downstairs just in case. I'm trying to watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks on BBC iPlayer for christsake. And oh look, bloody Simon Amstell's gone as well as old Bill. WHEN WILL THE TORTURE END?
Also, I need some magazine articles of HOT NEW BANDS, or particularly several articles about the same HOT NEW BAND for Media. Solo artists would be just as good mind. I've got The Noisettes, La Roux (a duo apparantly) and Paloma Faith in mind, but as it turns out, finding three different articles on one artist is prrretty bloody hard. Ach, screw journalism, I should have done a film instead.
Rate my pretentious shite and I'll give you sweeties.
Stay fabulous
x
Monday 28 September 2009
The day before yesterday, sailing
"No human thing is of serious importance' -Plato
OK, you've started with a quote, things are going well.
On the weekend I went sailing - on a proper boat and everything. The 'purpose' was to strengthen a bond with my dad. But of course there wasn't any bond and there still isn't so there really wasn't any point at all. Not a complaint mind, lots of dads are serious bastards mine is just uninteresting and there's nothing really going on there emotionally unfortunately , he's not too bad and he likes most people - other than foreigners, gays, blacks, Muslims and women. My big brother is more of a Big Brother in the Orwellian sense (haha at my arrogant academic humour) he watches what I does and makes sure I don't do anything different to how he expects, makes sure I'm like him and perfect in everything. Consequently I'm scared of him. Mother is ok, I can actually talk to her- she seems like an actual human being.
Some questionnaire about me? Jesus, I didn't know most of these answers. Life's gentle reminder: PLEASE FILL IN THESE BLANKS. He was clueless, he doesn't know much about me. We floated in to the Thames, all those massive, impressive metal structures made me feel rather small. I liked seeing the people from a distance, tour buses, kids playing football... they've all got stories and histories that I'll never know, I always liked this. I mused that I often found people more interesting from a distance.
OK, you've started with a quote, things are going well.
On the weekend I went sailing - on a proper boat and everything. The 'purpose' was to strengthen a bond with my dad. But of course there wasn't any bond and there still isn't so there really wasn't any point at all. Not a complaint mind, lots of dads are serious bastards mine is just uninteresting and there's nothing really going on there emotionally unfortunately , he's not too bad and he likes most people - other than foreigners, gays, blacks, Muslims and women. My big brother is more of a Big Brother in the Orwellian sense (haha at my arrogant academic humour) he watches what I does and makes sure I don't do anything different to how he expects, makes sure I'm like him and perfect in everything. Consequently I'm scared of him. Mother is ok, I can actually talk to her- she seems like an actual human being.
Some questionnaire about me? Jesus, I didn't know most of these answers. Life's gentle reminder: PLEASE FILL IN THESE BLANKS. He was clueless, he doesn't know much about me. We floated in to the Thames, all those massive, impressive metal structures made me feel rather small. I liked seeing the people from a distance, tour buses, kids playing football... they've all got stories and histories that I'll never know, I always liked this. I mused that I often found people more interesting from a distance.
Thursday 20 August 2009
Sunday 16 August 2009
This is a LOCAL blog for LOCAL people
I think all parents should be forced to go to free parenting classes, then people wouldn't be so messed up and start stabbing people. There may be some organisational flaws in that plan but I'm pretty sure that I'm heading down the right track..
I also think travelling minstrels should get big again, then we could get our news through the wonderful medium of poetry and song instead of boring newspapers and bulletins.
And, in order to create more jobs in this current financial climate, I've come up with some suggestions:
Anyway, I've actually made a start on tidying my room, isn't that good?
Anyone hosting a results day party? I would like that.
I think I need a girlfriend and then that'll make things a bit more interesting in my life.
Breakfast Club with zombies, good premise for a short story?
Currently listening to: 808 State; and raving, indeed, like it was 1989
Currently watching: Band of Brothers; borrowed box set, never seen it before,
and is that Simon Pegg?
and Combo from This is England is somewhere in the background, doesn't he get everywhere?
stay groovy.
x
I also think travelling minstrels should get big again, then we could get our news through the wonderful medium of poetry and song instead of boring newspapers and bulletins.
And, in order to create more jobs in this current financial climate, I've come up with some suggestions:
- the aforementioned travelling minstrels,
- Gunslinger
- Adventurer
- Paranormal Investigator (the cool type)
- Female Body Inspector
- Space Cowboy
- Warden hired to prevent music from being played on phone speakers in public places.
Anyway, I've actually made a start on tidying my room, isn't that good?
Anyone hosting a results day party? I would like that.
I think I need a girlfriend and then that'll make things a bit more interesting in my life.
Breakfast Club with zombies, good premise for a short story?
Currently listening to: 808 State; and raving, indeed, like it was 1989
Currently watching: Band of Brothers; borrowed box set, never seen it before,
and is that Simon Pegg?
and Combo from This is England is somewhere in the background, doesn't he get everywhere?
stay groovy.
x
Monday 3 August 2009
Do me a favour?
I'm not the most popular cat in school or anywhere else for that matter. I'm pretty quiet and not close to many people.
Sooooooo......
So in the 'opening up' manner of a couple of blogs I read recently I will reverse the trend I want to ask something of you, yes you. I always wanted to ask this: What do you think of me? You may not know me very well but you must be aware of the kind of person that I am and being a paranoid sort I'm always wondering what people do think of me.
So go! A semi-thoughtful mental analysis that doesn't have to be long. I will be very nice to everyone who goes along with this and If I sense you are not being honest in your answer then .... I won't be as nice. You've been warned.
Stay truthful.
x
Sooooooo......
So in the 'opening up' manner of a couple of blogs I read recently I will reverse the trend I want to ask something of you, yes you. I always wanted to ask this: What do you think of me? You may not know me very well but you must be aware of the kind of person that I am and being a paranoid sort I'm always wondering what people do think of me.
So go! A semi-thoughtful mental analysis that doesn't have to be long. I will be very nice to everyone who goes along with this and If I sense you are not being honest in your answer then .... I won't be as nice. You've been warned.
Stay truthful.
x
Friday 31 July 2009
Tim is on TV, gives up drinking and advertises for an orchestra
Hello Children,
The other day I was on the television. I knew that I would be on television around this time but silly me forgot the date that it would be aired. It's only S4C but basically it's me looking slightly dazed after being pulled from the street to don a fez and tell a Tommy Cooper joke to the camera. This sounds easy but it's not. It's extremely hard to tell a joke to a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. And you wouldn't know because I know for a fact that you haven't told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Unless you're Eddie, in which case you have told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Because you were with me and you failed at it, miserably. Because my foolish babbling was a hit and I managed to get included in the final cut. Three times. Which makes me approximately 136.6 times better than you will ever be in front of a camera. And again if this is Eddie I'm sorry for throwing up half my body weight on your carpet, I think that was unpleasant for everyone.
And here's our irony section: Me and Rob/Eddie were actually trying to film the Tommy Cooper statue for a Welsh Bacc film on Caerphilly but these 'professionals' beat us too it with their programme 'Bro' on Caerphilly. And we ended up being filmed ourselves. Haha. What? Is that not ironic enough for you?
Ech
So I was thinking about music as lots of people are at the moment. I like to write songs but most of them only actually become a few chords and some lyrics scribbled down somewhere, plus all of what's in my head, which is the best part. But in order to get it out of my head I need certain things, I already have a guitar and a bass and a keyboard and a mandolin and a harmonica but I don't have a string section and a synthesizer and a sampler and a drum machine and a horn section and a choir and and a steel drum. Especially a steel drum. These are the things I really need, because I'm like that with music, I'm fussy see. It's hard to advertise for it as well because the new songs I think of all need new components. I'll have to end up getting one of those lame composing software things, which cost money and no I'm not gonna steal it from a torrent site like most of you youths do.
What am I listening to right now?
Aphex Twin, Miles Davis and the ingenious New Jersey based radio station WFMU, which has a confusing argument between the DJ and a guy pretending to be a juggalo.
I'm sorry, bring me the urban dictionary.
The other day I was on the television. I knew that I would be on television around this time but silly me forgot the date that it would be aired. It's only S4C but basically it's me looking slightly dazed after being pulled from the street to don a fez and tell a Tommy Cooper joke to the camera. This sounds easy but it's not. It's extremely hard to tell a joke to a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. And you wouldn't know because I know for a fact that you haven't told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Unless you're Eddie, in which case you have told a joke in front of a camera surrounded by strangers and while wearing a fez. Because you were with me and you failed at it, miserably. Because my foolish babbling was a hit and I managed to get included in the final cut. Three times. Which makes me approximately 136.6 times better than you will ever be in front of a camera. And again if this is Eddie I'm sorry for throwing up half my body weight on your carpet, I think that was unpleasant for everyone.
And here's our irony section: Me and Rob/Eddie were actually trying to film the Tommy Cooper statue for a Welsh Bacc film on Caerphilly but these 'professionals' beat us too it with their programme 'Bro' on Caerphilly. And we ended up being filmed ourselves. Haha. What? Is that not ironic enough for you?
Ech
So I was thinking about music as lots of people are at the moment. I like to write songs but most of them only actually become a few chords and some lyrics scribbled down somewhere, plus all of what's in my head, which is the best part. But in order to get it out of my head I need certain things, I already have a guitar and a bass and a keyboard and a mandolin and a harmonica but I don't have a string section and a synthesizer and a sampler and a drum machine and a horn section and a choir and and a steel drum. Especially a steel drum. These are the things I really need, because I'm like that with music, I'm fussy see. It's hard to advertise for it as well because the new songs I think of all need new components. I'll have to end up getting one of those lame composing software things, which cost money and no I'm not gonna steal it from a torrent site like most of you youths do.
What am I listening to right now?
Aphex Twin, Miles Davis and the ingenious New Jersey based radio station WFMU, which has a confusing argument between the DJ and a guy pretending to be a juggalo.
I'm sorry, bring me the urban dictionary.
juggalo
What am I reading right now?
World War Z by Max Brooks
and Wuthering Heights, because I have to.
What am I watching right now?
True Blood, a vampire show that's apparently big in America . I'm giving it a shot and I'm intrigued so far and impressed by the lack of vampire cliches.
Blogger doesn't have accents which tells me not to be a stuck up pretentious twat.
Outnumbered and that's about it. I'm not watching too much telly.
And when I say right now. You know, I don't mean right now.
Yeah.
Stay frosty.
x
World War Z by Max Brooks
and Wuthering Heights, because I have to.
What am I watching right now?
True Blood, a vampire show that's apparently big in America . I'm giving it a shot and I'm intrigued so far and impressed by the lack of vampire cliches.
Blogger doesn't have accents which tells me not to be a stuck up pretentious twat.
Outnumbered and that's about it. I'm not watching too much telly.
And when I say right now. You know, I don't mean right now.
Yeah.
Stay frosty.
x
Wednesday 29 July 2009
Friday 24 July 2009
A Blog Worth Your Time
I've been trying to write a short story but I only seem to come up with about a sentence every two weeks. The draft I'm doing now is 1, 750 words long so going by that rate I figure I must have been writing it for quite a while now. I've been trying to make almost every minor detail in the story relevant to the theme or with some kind of double meaning. I haven't actually been focusing all too hard on the narrative or characters at all, just trying to make tiny metaphors that nobody will ever get, I'm not sure the result would be any good, but maybe some hardcore literary buffs would appreciate some of the things I've done. I don't know.
The story's about a girl recovering from a hangover trying to figure out what terrible thing she did last night.
(Thought it up long before the film The Hangover and that episode of Peep Show for your information)
The tense and narrative stance alternates from first person present to third person past during flashbacks of that particular night.The hangover is pretty much a metaphor for adulthood after a botched adolescence and this notion kind of combines awkwardly with a secondary theme of miscommunication. I've called it Salad Days, hoping that Shakespeare references will make me seem intelectual and that. I'll probably post it when I'm done.
Anyone go to Big Cheese today?
I'm not too fussed on going this weekend, and can whoever's choosing to go there tommorow night instead of Eddie's party change their mind please? You'll only miss some plastic sword fights, overpriced burgers and a few pissed up, aging musicians. And you can see the cruddy fireworks from the yard.
Stay fantastic
x
The story's about a girl recovering from a hangover trying to figure out what terrible thing she did last night.
(Thought it up long before the film The Hangover and that episode of Peep Show for your information)
The tense and narrative stance alternates from first person present to third person past during flashbacks of that particular night.The hangover is pretty much a metaphor for adulthood after a botched adolescence and this notion kind of combines awkwardly with a secondary theme of miscommunication. I've called it Salad Days, hoping that Shakespeare references will make me seem intelectual and that. I'll probably post it when I'm done.
Anyone go to Big Cheese today?
I'm not too fussed on going this weekend, and can whoever's choosing to go there tommorow night instead of Eddie's party change their mind please? You'll only miss some plastic sword fights, overpriced burgers and a few pissed up, aging musicians. And you can see the cruddy fireworks from the yard.
Stay fantastic
x
Thursday 23 July 2009
50 random questions you say?
1 What is the capitol of Argentina?
2 Do my feet smell?
3 Holy Jesus is that a bear!?
4 Cracked pepper?
5 Are you kidding me?
6 Do you read the Bible, son?
7 Anybody there?
8 Heads or tails? Call it. If I call it it wouldn't be fair.
9 What's the score?
10 Are you available tonight?
K I've replaced a number with a letter, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
12 How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? (Answer: False)
13 Are you on Facebook?
16 Big Issue?
17 Does my tackle look big in this?
18 Just who the Holy Moses do you think you are?
19 How's is going?
20 Huhh?
21 What colour Power Ranger?
22 DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?
23 ?
24 Twenty-four already?
25 Can you feel the love tonight?
26 Cracked pepper?
27 NAL?
28 Is this going a bit far to make a point?
29 Have you been drinking, sir?
30 Are you on Twitter?
31 How's the weather like up there?
32 Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
33 Do you find these 50 question things a lazier and easier alternative to writing a meaningful and interesting to read post?
34 Where has the rum gone?
35 What is another word for thesaurus?
36 Is Stephen Wirght actually funny, or does he just say things which sound like they should be funny?
38 I've just skipped to 38, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
39 Does anybody watch The Wire?
40 Bigger shoe?
41 Are you on [socialnetworkingsiteforpeopletowastertimeonbecausetheythinkthatthey'retoo
coolforordinaryf*ckingconversation]?
42 Who will watch the watchmen?
43 Are you talking to me?
44 Too many movie quotes for one list?
45 So, did you get your list from the internet or what? Or did you make your own like me? Just interested.
46 That's an interesting story,
maybe you could include it in that novel you were working on
You know, the novel?
That novel you've been writing?
Add a little plot twist there, hmm?
A little bit of character development, hmm?
Make them seem a little less two-dimensional, hmm?
hmmm?
47 You do realise that Greenday are shit don't you?
48 What time's the next bus?
49 You didn't expect me to write answers as well did you? This took bleeding ages.
50 Just why?
You see, those are random questions.
And just as pointless.
Stay swinging
x
2 Do my feet smell?
3 Holy Jesus is that a bear!?
4 Cracked pepper?
5 Are you kidding me?
6 Do you read the Bible, son?
7 Anybody there?
8 Heads or tails? Call it. If I call it it wouldn't be fair.
9 What's the score?
10 Are you available tonight?
K I've replaced a number with a letter, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
12 How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? (Answer: False)
13 Are you on Facebook?
16 Big Issue?
17 Does my tackle look big in this?
18 Just who the Holy Moses do you think you are?
19 How's is going?
20 Huhh?
21 What colour Power Ranger?
22 DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?
23 ?
24 Twenty-four already?
25 Can you feel the love tonight?
26 Cracked pepper?
27 NAL?
28 Is this going a bit far to make a point?
29 Have you been drinking, sir?
30 Are you on Twitter?
31 How's the weather like up there?
32 Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
33 Do you find these 50 question things a lazier and easier alternative to writing a meaningful and interesting to read post?
34 Where has the rum gone?
35 What is another word for thesaurus?
36 Is Stephen Wirght actually funny, or does he just say things which sound like they should be funny?
38 I've just skipped to 38, did you notice this? Do you feel inferior now?
39 Does anybody watch The Wire?
40 Bigger shoe?
41 Are you on [socialnetworkingsiteforpeopletowastertimeonbecausetheythinkthatthey'retoo
coolforordinaryf*ckingconversation]?
42 Who will watch the watchmen?
43 Are you talking to me?
44 Too many movie quotes for one list?
45 So, did you get your list from the internet or what? Or did you make your own like me? Just interested.
46 That's an interesting story,
maybe you could include it in that novel you were working on
You know, the novel?
That novel you've been writing?
Add a little plot twist there, hmm?
A little bit of character development, hmm?
Make them seem a little less two-dimensional, hmm?
hmmm?
47 You do realise that Greenday are shit don't you?
48 What time's the next bus?
49 You didn't expect me to write answers as well did you? This took bleeding ages.
50 Just why?
You see, those are random questions.
And just as pointless.
Stay swinging
x
Thursday 16 July 2009
Riding Scooters in my Autumn Holidays
Blogger: It's like Frogger but.........not
I'm in a philosophical mood today.
When I'm in a philosophical mood I think of the following things: Who comes up with the words for the word verification images? Why do they always appear as funny words and not as random codes like everywhere else on the Internet? Is it just me who has to type it out every time I post a comment? Why must I do this? And why is Blogger called 'blogspot' on everyone's url? I like the term 'follower' because it makes me feel like a messiah. Why is my first sentence always shifted forward slightly? Why can't I space my words out? Why do these things annoy me? Why aren't I popular like the 'blogs of note' people?
All this philosophicising is hurting my head.
Anyway, stay....... something
x
Tuesday 14 July 2009
Wednesday 8 July 2009
Lawnmower
Mowing the lawn in random zig-zag directions is one of those little pleasures I get from being left alone in the house. I imagine my mum's freaked out face at the monstrous sight 'You do it in lines! What the hell are you doing!!?'. It took me a while to start the thing as I had never used a petrol lawn mower in my life, I was a pokeitthroughthewindowandtrynottorunoverincaseyougetan-electricshockanddie cable kind of guy but the family has recently decided to take up polluting the environment and got a motor one. It turned out you poke a squidgey red ball three times, there was nothing vaguely mechanical about, it was more of a 'Now Dorothy, you clap your red boots three times and say 'There's no place like home' ignition procedure, it was strange.
Other than learning to start a petrol lawnmower there were other pleasing things I learned about life, like that baby puffins are called pufflings and that these guys exist. (Click Link)
Ah, what a great life.
Am I the only person here who watches Flight of the Conchords?
I recommended it if you're a fan of laughing.
Short one today.
Stay handsome
x
Other than learning to start a petrol lawnmower there were other pleasing things I learned about life, like that baby puffins are called pufflings and that these guys exist. (Click Link)
Ah, what a great life.
Am I the only person here who watches Flight of the Conchords?
I recommended it if you're a fan of laughing.
Short one today.
Stay handsome
x
Thursday 2 July 2009
Door Frame Ghost
That's the second time I thought I saw someone walk past the room through a door frame. It's only for a split second but it does creep me out just a bit when I find out that there's nobody there.
I don't think it's a hallucination or anything just the odd trick of the mind.
Anyway, pretty spooky.
So BBC 6 Music and cider and writing things in a half-arsed way is my evening for tonight. I have things to do. I think they can leave untill the weekend.
I'm in love but with no-one in particular, just people in general, just because you're different and you manage to make me happy somehow, I respect you and I'm sorry for getting in a strop about you. You're cool.
I like going for walks, I like going for picnics, I like striking up conversations with strangers, I like jazz and I like waking up on aeroplanes, I like observing people in their cars on highways, I like it when it rains hard and I'm warm and in bed, I like pets, I like being the guy who carries a camera, I like playing sport even if I'm terrible at it, I like using unneccisarily proper language to make me seem smart, I like beef chow mein, I like coconut ice, I like quoting Nietzche and watching old films. I don't like watching sport I don't want a car and I don't want a television when I move out (I find something oddly cool in not owning a television), I don't want a fancy phone with applications I don't need, I don't want or need a tidy house, I don't like arguing over pointless things. This is just a little slice of me for those who may have wanted to know a little more about the writer of this blog.
Early night tonight.
Does anyone want me to pick something up for them in Cardiff tomorrow morning?
Stay funky.
x
I don't think it's a hallucination or anything just the odd trick of the mind.
Anyway, pretty spooky.
So BBC 6 Music and cider and writing things in a half-arsed way is my evening for tonight. I have things to do. I think they can leave untill the weekend.
I'm in love but with no-one in particular, just people in general, just because you're different and you manage to make me happy somehow, I respect you and I'm sorry for getting in a strop about you. You're cool.
I like going for walks, I like going for picnics, I like striking up conversations with strangers, I like jazz and I like waking up on aeroplanes, I like observing people in their cars on highways, I like it when it rains hard and I'm warm and in bed, I like pets, I like being the guy who carries a camera, I like playing sport even if I'm terrible at it, I like using unneccisarily proper language to make me seem smart, I like beef chow mein, I like coconut ice, I like quoting Nietzche and watching old films. I don't like watching sport I don't want a car and I don't want a television when I move out (I find something oddly cool in not owning a television), I don't want a fancy phone with applications I don't need, I don't want or need a tidy house, I don't like arguing over pointless things. This is just a little slice of me for those who may have wanted to know a little more about the writer of this blog.
Early night tonight.
Does anyone want me to pick something up for them in Cardiff tomorrow morning?
Stay funky.
x
Tuesday 23 June 2009
Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard....
So I looked in The Book of Cool to see if blogging is still cool.
Turns out it's not so cool.
22nd of June and things are looking Juneish to say the least, except the odd cloud of heavy rain which appears be lost its way in endless blue. But you didn't really need to be told that. That's not what's important.
What is important is ME!
ME! is important
So I'll tell you the lowdown of my last week cause I know you're just dying to hear it.
I've enjoyed certain things like the music on the Occupation trailers and the Walls Happy Mix, ('cause, you know, sometimes a full sized Twister can be just a bit too much). I've also enjoyed getting my NEW STUFF which I thought was important enough to put in capitols. I can now take photos in focus and ring someone while knowing exactly what numbers I'm punching. How freakin' convenient is that? Well, the camera I have is actually exactly the same, except working. And the cheap phone I have is... a Nokia-something. It's black.
I haven't enjoyed certain things like school, which is less demanding and frustrating than before but is still, you know, school, so it's on my suck list. I am not looking forward to spending a weekend with my dad, which sounds dickishly ungrateful because it means I won't enjoy three days of rock climbing, canooeing and archery with some people who are probably quite friendly. I don't feel any kind of bond with my father or brother which is a bit sad. I'm more of a mummy's boy and I never liked the idea of a brother. Not that I don't like mine particularly. It's this 'one-of-a-kind' complex that dictates a lot of my life.
Father figures have been a key theme of this week, not just because Father's Day has recently passed.
I've finished reading 'Fight Club' which is really about men who reject father figures and head down a route of self-destruction. This theme is more apparent than it was in the film, it's interesting.
I've been reading about super-ego and all that Freudian stuff which talks about the father figure symbol in psychology. I noticed I've been abandoning my super-ego recently and been acting more on my impulsive desires, rejecting social boundaries slightly, some of my psychosis has been seeping through and odd behaviour has become apparent in public. I don't think I'm dangerous or anything though.
I'm feeling a bit alienated and I hope that I could deepen some friendships here, I mean you, reading this blog, maybe you could call or something, that would be nice. Not that you've done anything wrong, it's just that a lot of people seem like strangers. Otherwise life has been good and only small things have been ticking me off, like people and how I wish they had more quirks and less trends, that kind of stuff, this is how I manage to alienate myself.Anyway, that's my thoughts on things,
thanks for reading.
Stay special
x
Friday 12 June 2009
Everybody needs a touch of insanity
This blog may be pointless but I'll keep tapping away anyway.
I started wondering why certain people keep blogs and take part in all blogging goingson. I thought if anybody reading this could post a comment giving their own personal motives that would be real neat-o.
I read blogs because blogs say things that people don't say in conversations. And I'm not too hot in conversations so I suppose reading and writing blogs is easier. I like learning more about people, their lives and personalities. It just interests me.
I was inspired to write this by various people who have declared 'hating' blogs.
Seriously guys, can we stop hating things and be a little understanding to people's preferences.
It's exactly the kind of thing that I hate.
But as most of you reading this would be regular blogmongers my reply was mostly pointless.
The rest of this blog was going to be dedicated to subjects such as family and religion.
Instead I may go back to that another day and just briefly summarise my weekend with visual aids.
I'm trying to make these posts shorter anyway.
So anyway I walked to the top of the Brecon Beacons on Saturday and was pestered by old ladies in funny white hats.
Yes I'm vain.
I cared not for the Piz Buin
I mean look! Even my EYES were sunburnt!
Most of our home photos now include Wilson.
He's such a camera hogger.
I had a Capri Sun the other day.
I thought this was worth mentioning because of just how awesome it seemed at the time.
In Brecon I took many a photo.
These are some of the ones my mother praised for being 'artsy fartsy'
Isn't Wales nice?
for another late post...
Stay cool x
I started wondering why certain people keep blogs and take part in all blogging goingson. I thought if anybody reading this could post a comment giving their own personal motives that would be real neat-o.
I read blogs because blogs say things that people don't say in conversations. And I'm not too hot in conversations so I suppose reading and writing blogs is easier. I like learning more about people, their lives and personalities. It just interests me.
I was inspired to write this by various people who have declared 'hating' blogs.
Seriously guys, can we stop hating things and be a little understanding to people's preferences.
It's exactly the kind of thing that I hate.
But as most of you reading this would be regular blogmongers my reply was mostly pointless.
The rest of this blog was going to be dedicated to subjects such as family and religion.
Instead I may go back to that another day and just briefly summarise my weekend with visual aids.
I'm trying to make these posts shorter anyway.
So anyway I walked to the top of the Brecon Beacons on Saturday and was pestered by old ladies in funny white hats.
Yes I'm vain.
I cared not for the Piz Buin
I mean look! Even my EYES were sunburnt!
Most of our home photos now include Wilson.
He's such a camera hogger.
I had a Capri Sun the other day.
I thought this was worth mentioning because of just how awesome it seemed at the time.
In Brecon I took many a photo.
These are some of the ones my mother praised for being 'artsy fartsy'
Isn't Wales nice?
for another late post...
Stay cool x
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Stream of Consciousness
Ok, I admit to heavily preparing my posts before publishing them. I'm midly paranoid about not coming across as another geeky teenager who seems to think he's cleverer than he is. And on the other hand I don't want to come across as a novice or just plain wierd.
In fact I often wonder how wierd people see me as, after all, I'm mentally unstable and generally socially inept. I always listen to what strangers say when they pass me and always assume that they're talking about me, I panic that I look strange, dressed wierdly or come across as a complete nutjob even if they're talking about each others shoes, it's just who I am. Although sometimes I assume they're saying something nice to me as well.
I just realised that I've started to turn this unprepared, spontaneous speech in to something which is actually pretty deep and revealing. I often restrain from talking about myself anyway and I guess this is a kind of release. I think I'm a very interesting person, psychologically, not particularly physically. I have a great life and a good childhood, which I'm constantly grateful for, I wonder sometimes why I act the way I do, I try not to think of myself as selfish or ungrateful in this way because that often leads to me being more depressed. I said not particularly physically but I'm not sure if that was the right word to use, what I meant to imply was that interesting things rarely happen in my life. Sometimes I crave excitement, my life is great, but there's no excitement. Even if it's something bad, it can be good if it's exciting. I worry that this could lead to trouble but maybe I only worry this because worrying is exciting. It's probably fiction that distorts my view this way. When David, my phsychiatrist, asked what I wanted I said that I 'want to be fiction'. Life has no story, I know this, but I like to think that it has. I often practice a kind of doublethink, pretending certain things didn't happen when I reall;y know they did. It's a bad habit but it makes life seem like a much simpler place.
'The world is what you want it to be' I once scrawled somewhere.
Do I seek normality? What is normality? Would I know what normality feels like? A landscape through a kalaedoscope. A happy place, what everyone wants. Those who have paradise will always want more. Two lovers placed in a room will eventually learn to hate each other at some point. A crowded room full of people who can't see me, when I speak, who listens? Is conversation better when it is written down? Flaws can be evident over time, but that does not create a bad person. One shouldn't be predicted. My country is invaded my Nazis. A plane goes missing. A nursery has burnt and I pretend this doesn't happen. On the occasion that I feel something, I cry. People can be disguises, am I wearing one? Disguises to entertain, people are trends and people are performances and maybe I am just me. Restrained emotion can eat away inside you. 'The problem is Tim, what length can you go to to express yourself?' -David. The receptionist at the clinic called me a nut. Opinion is not truth. Dissapear Here.
I guess I'm just a happy boy that worries too much.
In fact I often wonder how wierd people see me as, after all, I'm mentally unstable and generally socially inept. I always listen to what strangers say when they pass me and always assume that they're talking about me, I panic that I look strange, dressed wierdly or come across as a complete nutjob even if they're talking about each others shoes, it's just who I am. Although sometimes I assume they're saying something nice to me as well.
I just realised that I've started to turn this unprepared, spontaneous speech in to something which is actually pretty deep and revealing. I often restrain from talking about myself anyway and I guess this is a kind of release. I think I'm a very interesting person, psychologically, not particularly physically. I have a great life and a good childhood, which I'm constantly grateful for, I wonder sometimes why I act the way I do, I try not to think of myself as selfish or ungrateful in this way because that often leads to me being more depressed. I said not particularly physically but I'm not sure if that was the right word to use, what I meant to imply was that interesting things rarely happen in my life. Sometimes I crave excitement, my life is great, but there's no excitement. Even if it's something bad, it can be good if it's exciting. I worry that this could lead to trouble but maybe I only worry this because worrying is exciting. It's probably fiction that distorts my view this way. When David, my phsychiatrist, asked what I wanted I said that I 'want to be fiction'. Life has no story, I know this, but I like to think that it has. I often practice a kind of doublethink, pretending certain things didn't happen when I reall;y know they did. It's a bad habit but it makes life seem like a much simpler place.
'The world is what you want it to be' I once scrawled somewhere.
Do I seek normality? What is normality? Would I know what normality feels like? A landscape through a kalaedoscope. A happy place, what everyone wants. Those who have paradise will always want more. Two lovers placed in a room will eventually learn to hate each other at some point. A crowded room full of people who can't see me, when I speak, who listens? Is conversation better when it is written down? Flaws can be evident over time, but that does not create a bad person. One shouldn't be predicted. My country is invaded my Nazis. A plane goes missing. A nursery has burnt and I pretend this doesn't happen. On the occasion that I feel something, I cry. People can be disguises, am I wearing one? Disguises to entertain, people are trends and people are performances and maybe I am just me. Restrained emotion can eat away inside you. 'The problem is Tim, what length can you go to to express yourself?' -David. The receptionist at the clinic called me a nut. Opinion is not truth. Dissapear Here.
I guess I'm just a happy boy that worries too much.
Maybe I shouldn't post so much about my new dog
....or maybe not
Here's some pictures of him
Here's some pictures of him
Wilson vs flower-pot
Wilson vs water
Wilson vs me
Wilson rest(ish)
and of course... Buddha Wils
Wilson rest(ish)
and of course... Buddha Wils
Stay classy
x
xTuesday 9 June 2009
Apologies
First off. After considering (I did, honest, of cause I did, why wouldn't I? Don't you believe me? I honestly, hand on my heart, considered each and every individuals comment. Honestly) the comments on the previous three posts about this previously unnamed puppy, we've decided to call him Wilson.
I apologise I know it's not everyone's cup of rosey lee but there was some confliction about the name Dexter, right from the fact that it was adopted from the first name of a fictional serial killer.
I hope you'll forgive me for not posting in a while as on top of all the Art and Key Skills work I suddenly have to do I've had to stop Wilson from eating/urinating on/jumping off/drowning in/obliterating everything that he comes across, including people so hopefully you'll understand. No pictures yet as I'm still cameraless and phone-screenless so yeah, I guess I'm sorry for that as well.
Apologies over. Now let's talk about my future.
Art is a bastard. A big bastarding knobhead that's been getting on my tits. I suddenly admire all of you that didn't take it, which at the moment I think is everyone. First of all, it's just not art. art is about distorting someone's perception of the world, it comes in the whatever form the artist imagines it to come in. Any attempt to apply structure or logic to it is pointless, it's a spontaneous vision that is entirely unique and it can come when it's ready. It's not other people's work and it's not just things that look pretty and it's not experimentation with different forms and styles, it's not development of ideas. Methods of art can be taught in a school but art itself is taught only by the world.
Which puts me in a bit of a pickle.
All of this sounds like an excuse from my, let's face it, crap art but I assure you that is only partially true.
So what to do?
I want 3 and a half A levels by the end of school. I could get by with 2 and it's pretty much a given that these would be English and Media, I just want to be safe. So I'm shooting for half a Spanish next year and I know that I've already failed Art and don't intead on taking it next year (see rant above). Do I take something else? Brace myself and take it anyway? Take nothing instead? Any other subject would be a half and it would probably be in college, if I could take Politics or Philosophy that would be good and I know I'd do well in Graphics. Then, will my grades be good enough for a Journalism course? As it happens, this is all of what I put as the answer to the problem solving exercise about what to do after leaving Year 13, except this has slightly less explecitives.
I apologise I know it's not everyone's cup of rosey lee but there was some confliction about the name Dexter, right from the fact that it was adopted from the first name of a fictional serial killer.I hope you'll forgive me for not posting in a while as on top of all the Art and Key Skills work I suddenly have to do I've had to stop Wilson from eating/urinating on/jumping off/drowning in/obliterating everything that he comes across, including people so hopefully you'll understand. No pictures yet as I'm still cameraless and phone-screenless so yeah, I guess I'm sorry for that as well.
Apologies over. Now let's talk about my future.
Art is a bastard. A big bastarding knobhead that's been getting on my tits. I suddenly admire all of you that didn't take it, which at the moment I think is everyone. First of all, it's just not art. art is about distorting someone's perception of the world, it comes in the whatever form the artist imagines it to come in. Any attempt to apply structure or logic to it is pointless, it's a spontaneous vision that is entirely unique and it can come when it's ready. It's not other people's work and it's not just things that look pretty and it's not experimentation with different forms and styles, it's not development of ideas. Methods of art can be taught in a school but art itself is taught only by the world.
Which puts me in a bit of a pickle.
All of this sounds like an excuse from my, let's face it, crap art but I assure you that is only partially true.
So what to do?
I want 3 and a half A levels by the end of school. I could get by with 2 and it's pretty much a given that these would be English and Media, I just want to be safe. So I'm shooting for half a Spanish next year and I know that I've already failed Art and don't intead on taking it next year (see rant above). Do I take something else? Brace myself and take it anyway? Take nothing instead? Any other subject would be a half and it would probably be in college, if I could take Politics or Philosophy that would be good and I know I'd do well in Graphics. Then, will my grades be good enough for a Journalism course? As it happens, this is all of what I put as the answer to the problem solving exercise about what to do after leaving Year 13, except this has slightly less explecitives.
Another thing I don't like: Being known as a 'creative sort'. It's a stereotype and it suggests that I can't do anything useful. Which is particularly fustrating because it's absolutely true. Maybe I should take less creative subjects.
Another apology for just how dull this blog was, even after taking so long to post. I'll make a much more exciting one next time probably containing various jokes about nuns and Scientologists. But for now this'll have to do and I'll just apply some ironic tags.
stay sexy
x
stay sexy
x
[John Baldessari 1968]
Sunday 7 June 2009
Friday 5 June 2009
Chewed Shoelaces
Wierdly, I think doing extra time in school is cool.
It's the fact that you can arrive at whenever-the-hell 'o clock without a uniform and a perfectly adjusted quiff (I had a bit more time to adjust my quiff. It is now perfectly adjusted) and on top of that whenever your work gets a bit heavy you are free to leave whenever you want and roam. I suppose this was also true for all of my Art lessons in the past but I could never roam without feeling a little bit dirty, plus, after-school roaming is always more pleasurable when you can think 'Hey, I didn't have to come in to school at all' and smile smugly, then you can go outside with your snazzy non-uniform and scoff at some younger uniformed pupils. I scoff at younger pupils quite a lot, often while lighting a cigar on my burning old uniform and laughing in to the wind. It's a hobby of mine. Speaking of which, what the hell is going on at school? I know there's exams and such but why are so many littler pupils outside having picnics while others are in lessons? And why does everyone ignore the break buzzer now? It messes with your head. Without my phone, watch and camera I'm directionless enough already. There must be an explaination.
So staying in school was what I did this morning and after I did a fair bit of art and ran out of cigars and blue polo shirts to burn I set out to get my puppy.
My FRIGGIN' puppy!!
It was long journey to Ross-on-Wye and I had a little nap because I was tired and at one point I think I saw a buzzard. But as much as I'd like to tell you about the rest of that exhilirating journey I'll skip to the point.
The puppy lived by a placed called 'Hole-in-the-Wall' and I mused about how a small country town in West England got to be called Hole-in-the-Wall. I thought that maybe I could invent a witty imaginary scenario in which the olde English settlers of Yore came about this curious moniker. But I couldn't really think of one which wasn't rubbish so I fell back to sleep.
On the acount of that I can already see my blog ratings drop by the second I think I'll skip ahead a bit longer.
The puppy (as I already knew through visiting this place previously but you didn't so I'll inform you anyway) lived with a nice old lady and her nice old husband in a house, in a very big house in the country. He was a bloody big pup with a taste for shoelaces, particularly my shoelaces as well as my bare legs. Granted through experience I should have worn trousers instead of three-quaters but the bites didn't hurt too much and he gave up after a while... the coward. We both agreed that he was the cutest darn puppy in the world, went through some quick paperwork, paid and gave the nice old lady some flowers for being just so nice then scooted off. I realise that I should've informed you that I was travelling with my father and we are not schizophrenic - I am not schizophrenic, I can't drive and if I could I would rarely drive while napping, it was my dad who filled in the forms and paid while I was busy getting the skin bitten off my thighs, the little terror.
Default unnamed puppy continued to be just lovely and much cooing occured. There was a small welcoming party from family friends and a lot of time was dedicated to the naming process. I got fed up in the end and considered calling him Hole-in-the-Wall. Anyway the naming rundown is as follows:
By then it was probably too late to go to band practice and the weather was a bit pants for the picnic that I wasn't sure was going on.
So I checked Blogger and was happy at the comments from my first post. I thought it went quite well and I even managed to fit in a little mildy topical joke about the labour party.
Stay beautiful
x
It's the fact that you can arrive at whenever-the-hell 'o clock without a uniform and a perfectly adjusted quiff (I had a bit more time to adjust my quiff. It is now perfectly adjusted) and on top of that whenever your work gets a bit heavy you are free to leave whenever you want and roam. I suppose this was also true for all of my Art lessons in the past but I could never roam without feeling a little bit dirty, plus, after-school roaming is always more pleasurable when you can think 'Hey, I didn't have to come in to school at all' and smile smugly, then you can go outside with your snazzy non-uniform and scoff at some younger uniformed pupils. I scoff at younger pupils quite a lot, often while lighting a cigar on my burning old uniform and laughing in to the wind. It's a hobby of mine. Speaking of which, what the hell is going on at school? I know there's exams and such but why are so many littler pupils outside having picnics while others are in lessons? And why does everyone ignore the break buzzer now? It messes with your head. Without my phone, watch and camera I'm directionless enough already. There must be an explaination.
So staying in school was what I did this morning and after I did a fair bit of art and ran out of cigars and blue polo shirts to burn I set out to get my puppy.
My FRIGGIN' puppy!!
It was long journey to Ross-on-Wye and I had a little nap because I was tired and at one point I think I saw a buzzard. But as much as I'd like to tell you about the rest of that exhilirating journey I'll skip to the point.
The puppy lived by a placed called 'Hole-in-the-Wall' and I mused about how a small country town in West England got to be called Hole-in-the-Wall. I thought that maybe I could invent a witty imaginary scenario in which the olde English settlers of Yore came about this curious moniker. But I couldn't really think of one which wasn't rubbish so I fell back to sleep.
On the acount of that I can already see my blog ratings drop by the second I think I'll skip ahead a bit longer.
The puppy (as I already knew through visiting this place previously but you didn't so I'll inform you anyway) lived with a nice old lady and her nice old husband in a house, in a very big house in the country. He was a bloody big pup with a taste for shoelaces, particularly my shoelaces as well as my bare legs. Granted through experience I should have worn trousers instead of three-quaters but the bites didn't hurt too much and he gave up after a while... the coward. We both agreed that he was the cutest darn puppy in the world, went through some quick paperwork, paid and gave the nice old lady some flowers for being just so nice then scooted off. I realise that I should've informed you that I was travelling with my father and we are not schizophrenic - I am not schizophrenic, I can't drive and if I could I would rarely drive while napping, it was my dad who filled in the forms and paid while I was busy getting the skin bitten off my thighs, the little terror.
Default unnamed puppy continued to be just lovely and much cooing occured. There was a small welcoming party from family friends and a lot of time was dedicated to the naming process. I got fed up in the end and considered calling him Hole-in-the-Wall. Anyway the naming rundown is as follows:
Current favourite:
Wilson (partially after the musician Wilson Pickett, but mostly after the volleyball from Castaway - as well as the tennis ball cylinder that lies in the car for some reason)
Benson
Wesley
and slightly less popularly:
Henry
Floyd
+ my six-year-old cousin's suggestion: Sizzles
Wilson (partially after the musician Wilson Pickett, but mostly after the volleyball from Castaway - as well as the tennis ball cylinder that lies in the car for some reason)
Benson
Wesley
and slightly less popularly:
Henry
Floyd
+ my six-year-old cousin's suggestion: Sizzles
By then it was probably too late to go to band practice and the weather was a bit pants for the picnic that I wasn't sure was going on.
So I checked Blogger and was happy at the comments from my first post. I thought it went quite well and I even managed to fit in a little mildy topical joke about the labour party.
Stay beautiful
x
Thursday 4 June 2009
Writing Blogs and Terminator
So I realised a few people had made some blogs recently and I asked myself "Do I have a blog?"
So I checked Blogger and... I do have a blog!
So I decided that I'll update said blog and actually post something in it and somewhere along the line maybe I'll get famous. But bare in mind I'm not an experienced bloggist I haven't got a degree in blogology and I appologise if I break any of the international rules of bloggering. I just have very little school or college work left to do and this just happpens to be the thing that I feel that you could give up your time to read.
Here's hoping.
I'm going to be starting with yesterday because I was going to post then but couldn't fit in the time and nothing too interesting happened today anyway.
So I saw Terminator Salvation yesterday. Terminator: Salvation? Terminator -Salvation? It's hard to keep track of subtitles these days. But anyway I saw it in Showcase because the trailers looked pretty impressive and I wanted to get out of the house and because it features Christian Bale (who is actually a very very good actor, if a bit stale in this film). It turned out to be a fairly enjoyable 115 minutes. Also, it gave me a chance to notice that Helena Bonham Carter has a bit of a beard. Or was it just her character, who had cancer? Do people with cancer grow beards? The first two Terminators were better and I haven't seen the third, although my friend Ben rates it as 'Epic Shit'- he has a scale of film ratings that range from 'Not That Shit' to 'Shit', 'Big Shit', 'Giant Shit' and finally 'Epic Shit'. He doesn't like films so much. Also, I actually thought number 2 was better than number 1, but hey, that's just me. Don't hang.
Other than watching big budget robot films I have been genuinely busy finishing the rest of my Art, seeing my shrink, shortlisting names for new puppy, sending off my broken phone to get fixed as well as my broken watch and broken camera and watching the penultimate episode of The Apprentice.
If you don't watch The Apprentice I respect you. Cause television is bad and all that. But it is bloody hilarious and the best place to go for watching the worst human beings in the world group together to make some unbelievably bad decisions.
Apart from in the Labour Party.
Now it's time to kick back and try to wait for tomorrow.
What's happening tomorrow you say?
Why, I'm getting... A PUPPY!
a FREAKIN' PUPPY!
and he's FREAKIN' CUTE!
looky
yep, that's the little guy.
Shortlist of names so far in no order:
Wilson
Benson
Riley
Floyd
Dexter
Thor, Swamp Thing, Ra, LL Cool J, Batman and more...
So I checked Blogger and... I do have a blog!
So I decided that I'll update said blog and actually post something in it and somewhere along the line maybe I'll get famous. But bare in mind I'm not an experienced bloggist I haven't got a degree in blogology and I appologise if I break any of the international rules of bloggering. I just have very little school or college work left to do and this just happpens to be the thing that I feel that you could give up your time to read.
Here's hoping.
I'm going to be starting with yesterday because I was going to post then but couldn't fit in the time and nothing too interesting happened today anyway.
So I saw Terminator Salvation yesterday. Terminator: Salvation? Terminator -Salvation? It's hard to keep track of subtitles these days. But anyway I saw it in Showcase because the trailers looked pretty impressive and I wanted to get out of the house and because it features Christian Bale (who is actually a very very good actor, if a bit stale in this film). It turned out to be a fairly enjoyable 115 minutes. Also, it gave me a chance to notice that Helena Bonham Carter has a bit of a beard. Or was it just her character, who had cancer? Do people with cancer grow beards? The first two Terminators were better and I haven't seen the third, although my friend Ben rates it as 'Epic Shit'- he has a scale of film ratings that range from 'Not That Shit' to 'Shit', 'Big Shit', 'Giant Shit' and finally 'Epic Shit'. He doesn't like films so much. Also, I actually thought number 2 was better than number 1, but hey, that's just me. Don't hang.
Other than watching big budget robot films I have been genuinely busy finishing the rest of my Art, seeing my shrink, shortlisting names for new puppy, sending off my broken phone to get fixed as well as my broken watch and broken camera and watching the penultimate episode of The Apprentice.
If you don't watch The Apprentice I respect you. Cause television is bad and all that. But it is bloody hilarious and the best place to go for watching the worst human beings in the world group together to make some unbelievably bad decisions.
Apart from in the Labour Party.
Now it's time to kick back and try to wait for tomorrow.
What's happening tomorrow you say?
Why, I'm getting... A PUPPY!
a FREAKIN' PUPPY!
and he's FREAKIN' CUTE!
looky
yep, that's the little guy.
Shortlist of names so far in no order:
Walter
Wesley
DenzilWesley
Wilson
Benson
Riley
Floyd
Dexter
Thor, Swamp Thing, Ra, LL Cool J, Batman and more...
Leave a comment if you got something to say
Stay fresh.
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